A New Week

"Give me understanding, and I will keep your law, and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to Your word."
- Psalm 119: 34-37

I often require some degree of understanding before feeling satisfied or comfortable. My faith is sometimes contingent upon my level of understanding; thus, my level of trust fluctuates as my level of understanding changes: understanding of a situation, understanding of a consequence or outcome, understanding of a particular event or circumstance. In other words, if my understanding of something is greater, my "faith" is also greater, and visa versa. And that is not faith in God at all; that is faith in my own human knowledge and understanding. My obedience of, and faith in, the Word of God should not be dependent upon my own understanding.

In order even to begin to grasp the greatness of the Almighty, I must turn my eyes from things of this world. My heart must be focused solely on Christ. And that cannot happen when I am in the way. When my focus is on me, it cannot be on Christ also. When my focus is on Christ, my life will change. My relationships will change. My work and work ethic will change. When I focus on Christ, my actions toward others will be like those of Christ. My words will be encouraging and truthful, as Christ is. And I will love others with the same love that Christ loves me. But this cannot happen while I am pursuing my own happiness; my own selfish gain. My life must change. I must be willing to sacrifice my comfort, my home, my pride, my concerns. I must be able to let go of myself in surrender to the Lord. Until this happens, my heart cannot be turned away from this world and toward the statues of Christ.

Anything that is not of God, anything that is not for the glory of His Kingdom, is worthless. Everything is a lesser thing compared to Him.

My heart breaks when I reflect upon the many worthless things that distract me from Christ each day: What will I wear? What will I eat for lunch? When will I finish a particular assignment or task? How long will I have to stay at Ms. So-and- so's house that I hate going to so much because it smells awful and she does not clean up after her animals? What will I do with my free time this weekend? When is the next time I get paid? These things are so trivial. And they all focus on one thing; they all focus on me.

As I go into a new week, I am going to begin praying for a new focus: a focus on Christ. I simply do not matter all that much. Nothing in my life matters as much as my relationship with my Savior. Nothing is worth hurting that relationship. There is no circumstance or event that is more important than that relationship. There is nothing important enough to interfere with my time with Him.

Passing the Time

Today was just one of those days... Not a bad day, but one of those days when I am fairly certain that all forty-something of my clients collaborated in an effort to completely avoid me. Not one person I called today bothered to call me back. I usually have the opposite problem: a select few clients call over and over and over again, multiple times a day, sometimes for specific reasons, but most often, just to chat. No one must have been feeling very chatty today. I spent the day staring longingly at my telephone willing it to ring.

In my desperation, I turned to blog hopping. This was a temptation that I managed to resist for hours before finally giving in. But, really, my sanity depended on it. I was at my wit's end. Not to mention, I had fallen behind since the weekend anyway. :)

So, here are a few of my favorite finds:

Joy the Baker's wedding cake endeavor is hilariously entertaining. And, I do not know how she does it, but somehow, it is educational as well. She spent the entire week planning and preparing this cake, and that week was not spent in vain! The finished product looks absolutely splendid! The best part? She provides such clear, detailed instructions that I now feel empowered! Her step-by-step instructions, which she provides starting from the very beginning of the LONG process, and continuing all the way to the very end, are easy to read, funny to read, and actually incredibly helpful (say I, who have yet to actually attempt a wedding cake on my own).


Seleta, from Simply Seleta, takes readers through her journey of revamping her foyer. The end result is incredible! I am in awe of how someone can be so creative and so organized as to creative a space that is totally livable, practical, and functional... and adorable at the same time! Everything has its proper place, and each proper place is stunning. My favorite thing? The hanging wall pocket unit, which is actually two units, so if you are decorating and organizing on a smaller scale, you have the option of just having two pockets versus four.

And this picture just makes me happy. For me, a popsicle is a happy memory: a memory of summer, of childhood, of simplicity. When I was a little girl, my mom kept freezer pops in the freezer all summer 'round... And my sister and I ate them by the dozens. My favorite flavors were the pink and the blue. My least favorite were the purple and orange. I used to try to save all the juice for last, so that I could drink it when I got to the end of the popsicle.

from here

On the Prowl

I posted this picture a while back, but I am mentioning it again now in order to let it be known that I am searching high and low for this picture.

Starting...

Now.

Andrew is moving into our new apartment on July first. And I have the PERFECT place for this picture.

There is a breaker box in the kitchen. Yes, it is a complete eyesore, but it will be incredibly easy to cover up with any piece of artwork, a calender, a chalkboard, etc. The possibilities are endless.

While I have a few ideas for what I would like to put there (since I am fairly certain Andrew does not care one iota), Audrey is definitely my first choice.

After a brief internet search, I was able to find this picture here, at Owens Archive, available in different sizes. But I am not yet ready to give up hope that I can find it elsewhere for a more affordable price... I will be tearing the flea market apart next weekend in my valiant effort to find Audrey and put her in my kitchen!



I will leave you with this, which would also be appropriate in a kitchen:

Happy FATHERS' DAY

The first time I came across this website, I was incredibly touched. The photographs are gorgeous; the words of the writer are even more so. Please look at this when you have time to truly reflect, to think upon your own life, and upon that of your father.

There are so many different kinds of dads: Good ones, bad ones, quiet ones, loud ones, silly ones, serious ones, athletic ones, bookish ones, old ones, young ones, ones that leave, ones that stick around, ones that are alcoholics, ones that are in prison, ones that attend every birthday party and softball game their children ever have, ones that plan every birthday party their children ever have, ones that coach every softball game their children ever play, ones that never make it to the softball games because they are too busy working, ones that never make it to any softball games because they live states away, ones that never make it to any softball games because they are serving our country overseas, ones that are unemployed, ones that are homeless. The list could continue.

But a dad is a dad.

And a dad is to be cherished... No matter what stage of life he is in,
no matter what physical condition he is in, and no matter what state of mind he is in.

"Honor your father and mother- which is the first commandment with a promise-"
Ephesians 6:2

Words for the Weekend

Courtesy of several sweet souls who gave me money recently for my birthday, I took myself purse shopping today. Only minutes into my purse search, I began to have a difficult time focusing just on purses. My eyes were darting to racks of clothing that I did not need; my feet began walking automatically to the shoe section. And I found myself doubly tempted, because everything seemed to be on sale.

At first, I was baffled by my spastic movements, and my grabbing hands. Then I realized something: Until today, I had not been shopping for anything non-wedding-related in months. Reason being? An unaccommodating budget, both time-wise, and money-wise. Even my perpetual window shopping had gone by the wayside!

I have always considered myself to be fairly stylish; however, I have fallen behind! In the midst of adjust to a new job, getting used to having bills to pay, and planning a wedding, I have forgotten some of the things I used to love.

Scrapbooking. (I am disgustingly behind...)

Reading. (I used to read chapter after chapter after chapter before falling asleep each night; now I am lucky to make it through a paragraph or two before drifting off to dreamland!)

from here

Shopping. (Which generally consists of people watching, browsing, trying on, brainstorming, and leaving on the rack outside the dressing room.)

Goodwill (or any thrift store) hunting. (One of my favorite stress relievers!)

Cleaning. (I so enjoy the feeling of knowing where everything is and exactly what condition it is in!)

Closet Shopping (Sadly enough, I have been rolling out of bed in the mornings and throwing things mindlessly on my body, only paying attention to whether I am appropriately covered).

And, something I would really like to invest more time into? Blogging... I would really like to get good at it!



This picture comes from one of my favorite blogs. Each time I read one of Emily's posts, I feel like she is giving me a little peek into the window of her life. And if you know me, you know how much I adore listening to, knowing about, and watching, people and things which I have no business listening to, knowing about, or watching! Emily makes a living doing what she loves to do: blogging, taking pictures, shopping, traveling, and living her life.

I love my job. But there are days when I cannot help but think I would rather be doing something else: something creative; something that inspires me; something colorful; something that inspires others; something hands on.

But then I look at pictures, and meet people, like this:

from here

And I suddenly remember why it is that I do what I do.

The last years of a person's life are precious. Those last moments can be so sweet.

Social work is creative and hands-on in its own way. Social workers bring to light possibilities that people did not know existed. They make referrals. They make connections. They make changes. They make time. They make room. They make allowances. They make notes. They make phone calls. They make a difference. So in its own way, social work is a creative entity.

By the way, you can click here to see the purse I finally decided on. :)

The Silent Servant

Acrostic: noun. a poem, word puzzle, or other composition in which certain letters in each line form a word, or words.

Acrostics are great. They are quick, but still effective. They are short and to the point, but still cover all the bases. They are easy to write, as well as easy to read. They are the poem for those of us who cannot write poetry, and they are the poem for those of us who do not have the attentions spans or intelligence necessary to adequately read and understand a "real" poem!

Thus, I often utilize acrostics when I do not quite feel up to writing actual sentences of thoughts; when even the idea of writing a complete paragraph makes me literally want to sob; when it has been a long week and I really just want to go to sleep, but I have that one little thing I feel like must be said before my mind can rest at ease. Times such as these are what acrostics were made for. These times are their chances to shine!

So, thank you, Acrostic. You have allowed me to write, and to still get some sleep. You have allowed me to write, get some sleep, and not wake up with eyes that are puffy from crying over horribly disconnected paragraphs. You have allowed me to effectively express feelings and thoughts without spending hours pouring over pen and paper. In some instances, you have allowed me to effectively express feelings and thoughts without actually writing even one complete sentence.

You have served me well, in spite of often being overlooked or forgotten. For your humble service to the literary world, and for your humble service to me, I thank you.

P.S- Along with my thank-you, I would like to extend to you an apology. I apologize for my complete misuse of you, and for my ignorance of how to employ you correctly. Maybe one day I will learn how to write you in the proper manner; for that is the manner in which you deserve to be written. But until that day comes, thank you for your understanding.

This picture, from Real Simple, has virtually nothing to do with this post; I just liked it, and thought you might too!

LOVEly Birthday!

Today is the love of my life's twenty-second birthday.

So, as seems to be tradition, I am including an acrostic that describes all (or, at least some) of the ways that Andrew expresses his love to me each and every day.

Accepts me.

Notices my strengths, as well as my struggles.

Dreams my dreams with me, no matter how silly or outlandish they may be.

Realizes my potential.

Encourages me toward that potential.

Walks alongside me when things are tricky, just as he does when they are simple.

The list could continue, if only Andrew's name were longer, because he shows his love to me in so many ways. I pray each day that God will reveal to me new ways that I can demonstrate to Andrew my love for him.

I was happy before I met Andrew; I am even happier now that I know him. I am extra- happy to be alive, because it means being alive with him!

My life was rich before Andrew was in it; it is even richer now. He enhances my life just by being a part of it.

I am so glad Andrew was born on this day twenty-two years ago (although any other day would have perfectly acceptable as well). And I will be thankful for each and every year from here on out that I am able to give him a Happy Birthday card... I hope I get to write him one each year for the next hundred years! I am so excited for the years that lie ahead of us; no matter how many or few they may be. I know that my love for him will grow with every birthday that passes.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a NEW thing!!!" - Isaiah 43:18,19

America Runs On...

Allow me to preface this post by stating that, when funds, and/or time, are available, I absolutely prefer to frequent little, independent coffee shops and cafes, or ones that are unique to the Nashville area, as opposed to patronizing chains, like Starbucks or Panera Bread (although I do love both of those places too).

I love [almost] nothing more than going to a local coffee shop, sitting down with a cup of coffee and a muffin, and pretending to read my book while secretly people-watching, and eavesdropping on conversations that I truly have no business making myself privy to.

Unfortunately, the busy-ness of life, a general lack of funds, and a small storehouse of common sense, prevent me from frequent indulgence in this beloved past-time.

Thus, Dunkin Donuts.

By going to the Dunkin Donuts website, and signing up for Dunkin Donuts perks, you can receive coupons in the mail for free drinks. And not just coffee; they offer a wide array of items for which you may use your free coupon. Signing up for the perks is free, and, other than an occasional annoying email, there is no downside to the perks program.

Dunkin Donuts also offers punch cards. My punch card is "But five beverages; get the sixth free." By using my free coupons that I receive in the mail, I am able to earn punches on my card, which, will eventually earn me ANOTHER free drink.

The perks also include things like: Buy a donut, get a medium coffee free. Or: buy a medium coffee and get a free donut. Or: Get a bagel and cream cheese for 99 cents, with the purchase of a medium coffee.

I LOVE the taste of Dunkin Donuts coffee. I love the donuts too... Who doesn't need an extra-sweet kick-start to their day every now and then?! The one thing I would not recommend? Their muffins. The taste is not quite worth the calories. I am a BIG advocate of muffins, but these are not my favorites. I would stick to coffee and donuts if you need a sweet fix.

If, at any time, you do not need your sweet tooth satisfied, Dunkin Donuts does offer new flat breads and wraps. I tried the egg white and cheese wrap recently, and it was surprisingly satisfying! Still didn't compare to a donut, but it only contains 150 calories, as opposed to a donut, which contains upwards of 300, at best!

So, I stopped at Dunkin twice this week on my way to work. Both visits were free. And I will be stopping at Dunkin Donuts on my way to work Monday... for free :)

America's Drive-In

Since I am not yet an incredibly skilled coupon user, I have learned to maximize the deals that I have found.

I frequent two places where, every time I go, I spend almost nothing.

Place number one: Sonic. I am a faithful Sonic patron; I go almost every day. Now, normally, if someone told me they did this, I would think, "How silly! Doesn't she know how much money she could say by NOT doing that?!"

Well, if someone told me that, my rebuttal would be this: "I have gone to Sonic every day for a month, and left each time without paying even a dime. And I have gotten exactly what I came for!"

Then, I assume said someone, being quite taken aback, might ask, "Well, how do you manage such a thing?"

To which my reply would be, "The lovely people at Sonic make it insanely easy not to spend money there!"

You see, although I do love a good Sonic ice cream (their shakes are buy one get one free anytime), or maybe a burger, I generally do not go there for the food.

Two words:

Diet coke.

I know; it's bad. But it is a great, FREE pick-me-up, just when I am starting to hit my afternoon slump each day.

And now for the free part.

Each time you purchase a drink, you are handed a receipt. On that receipt, there is a phone number. There is also a notification that lets the receipt holder know that, if they call the number listed on the receipt, and complete the survey, they can receive a free Route 44 Sonic beverage.

The surveys take anywhere from one to three minutes. Sometimes the survey is really brief, and sometimes it is more in-depth. Either way, it is worth it.

At the end of the survey, you are given a validation code. You write this code down on your receipt, and turn that receipt in next time you visit a Sonic, in order to redeem your free drink. And guess what?! With that free drink comes a receipt... Need I say more?

The way it turns out, you are basically able to get your drink for free EVERY TIME you order one. You just have to have a touch tone phone, and a pen handy. The validation codes are pretty long.

But a penny saved is a penny earned!

Place number two: You will have to check back tomorrow.

Hope you can stand the suspense. :)

Goodnight!

Coupon Queen

I spent my afternoon with a client today. She and I went to the grocery store together. And she completely inspired me! She walked out of Kroger having paid only twenty-three dollars for an entire buggy-full of grocery items! The shopping process was painfully drawn out, and she was incredibly meticulous; however, she did not purchase even one thing that she did not have a coupon for, or that was not already on sale... or, in most cases, both!

The client walked into the store with a very specific agenda: buy more; pay less. She knew exactly which food items were on sale this week, and she had her coupons in her hand, at the ready. Accompanying those coupons, she had a list. After combining already-on-sale items with her coupons, she ended up paying next to nothing for the bulk of the groceries that she purchased.

Twenty-three dollars for more groceries than one person could possibly eat in weeks.

I was shocked.

And I suddenly realized something:

Bargain shopping takes work. It takes brains. It takes planning ahead. It takes time. It takes organization.

I am a terrible coupon clipper.

Wait... Correction...

I am a great coupon clipper; a terrible coupon user.

I tend to find coupons crumpled up at the bottom of my purse about two months after their expiration dates. Or I hoard coupons until I have so many that I could not possibly NEED to purchase all of the items that said coupons pertain to. Or I carefully guard an "important" coupon until I desperately need it (or until I think I desperately need it), and then, when I am pumped up, and ready to use it, excited for the sense of satisfaction and accomplish that I am sure is just around the corner, I realize that I left it in my other bag, or in the car, or on the kitchen counter. Or, I dig frantically through my purse in search of this all-important coupon, the entire time I am standing in the grocery store checkout line, still not having found it by the time I reach the register, flustered because I know I have a mob of angry shoppers waiting in line behind me, and finally giving up. Then, when I get in the car, I resume my thorough search through my purse (searching less frantically now), and find the coupon in the exact spot where I should have known it would have been all along.

Obviously, my coupon using skills leave much to be desired.

And all these years I thought I was thrifty. Boy, did this client prove me wrong. What she displayed today was sheer talent: Practiced, well-developed, unmatched (at least by me)... talent.

I am inspired.

It is time to turn over a new leaf.

Sneak Peek: Part Two

I just couldn't help it; I had to add a few more pictures. There are just so many to choose from. Plus, I am proud of Andrew, and will take any available opportunity to show him off. God has blessed me so richly through him! Chesley did such a wonderful job with the pictures, and she was so patient with us, and fun to work with!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I was right when, in a recent post, I said that neither Andrew nor I knows how to be married. Without God's grace in our lives and in our relationship, our marriage will not thrive. But, with God at the center of our hearts and lives, both individually now, and together after we are married, our marriage will stand the test of time; the test of arguments; the test of failures; the test of imperfections; the test of disappointments. Because, "a cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Sneak Peek

Here is just a little peek at the engagement session we had in May with Chesley Summars, a wonderful Nashville photographer who is also taking the pictures for our wedding!

And, given my history with Andrew, I just think this song is appropriate.

Holy Cow

Friday, I had a bridal shower. And I was given more kitchen supplies than I will ever actually be able to learn to use. And how said kitchen supplies are going to fit into our just-under-five-hundred-square-foot apartment, I haven't the faintest idea.

Saturday, I turned twenty-one. Other than that, nothing of consequence happened yesterday, except that I did a very grown up thing. Namely, Andrew and I purchased a patio table for our new apartment! It does not necessarily look grown up, seeing as how it is bright yellow; however, I sure felt grown up strolling around Target with a buggy filled with a patio table and chairs.

All of that being said, I had sort of an epiphany this weekend. I am not sure what brought on my sudden revelation, but somewhere amidst the happenings of the weekend, it just hit me:

I am getting married.

I do not know how to be married.

Andrew doesn't know how to be married either.

I just turned twenty-one. Should twenty-one year olds even be allowed to get married?

I am simply not convinced.

Let me clarify: I am excited to be married. I am excited to be married to Andrew. I am excited to run weekend errands with him; to go on evening walks with him; to learn how to live with him; to learn how to cook for him; to decorate our little apartment; to begin life together in our little apartment; to go our separate ways during the day, and then relax on the couch each night and give one another a recap on how our days went. I am excited just to be with him.

But I am also kind of sad.

My mom and sister went on a walk without me this morning. This is not odd; it happens often. I never went on walks with them when I was in college. I was at school; they were at home. They walked without me. I never thought twice about it.

But this morning, I had a breakdown when I realized they had gone on a walk without me. There they went... leaving me behind (with good reason; I was in the shower), when they knew good and well that they only had two more months of walking with me before I would be gone (and, by "gone", I mean that Andrew and I will be about six miles away, but that six miles seemed very long this morning in the middle of my catharsis).

And they did not seem phased by this at all.

This is the point at which I lost it.

Their lives are going to go on as if nothing has changed. They will still walk every night. My not being here will not make a bit of difference in their routine.

And I am going to have to get used to not seeing them every day... Not going into my parents' room at night to tell them goodnight... Not running Saturday errands with my mom... Not sitting in the kitchen on Sunday morning when Daddy makes his biscuits to take to church... Not going to church with my parents... Not going on walks with them each evening.

Voluntarily leaving the comfort, security, and familiarity of my family and my home, in favor of the total uncertainty of marriage to a person I have known for only a few years.

Choosing to give my life, my heart, my everything, to him. No matter what.

It kinda sounds crazy.

But then again...

It kinda doesn't.

Empty Me

When I accepted Andrew's marriage proposal two months ago, I had no idea that such a short period of engagement would be such a long process of pruning.

Attempting to maintain and sustain control over my own plans, time, habits, finances, hobbies, etc. is one thing. Attempting to do the same for a second person, and attempting to consolidate and coordinate a second person's plans, time, habits, finances, hobbies, etc. with me own is a totally different story.

Both attempts are impossible. But the second produces much more blatant results (which may also be appropriately referred to as consequences). Attempting to control another person, in any way, is not loving that person; it is in direction contradiction to loving them. Love does not control. Loving someone gives that someone freedom; it empowers them to be and do more than they ever could have been or done without that love.

Trying to control a person limits that person. It ties him to the things the controller will "allow" him to do. It binds him to standards, or impossible ideals, that the controller has created. It demeans him, and makes him feel small. It tears down his dreams, and hinders him from being all that God has created him to be.

Controlling love is selfish love. And selfish love is not love at all.

In short, when my controlling spirit is exerted onto Andrew, I am missing out on the blessing of what my relationship with Andrew could be. I am not cultivating a Christ-like relationship with him, because I am not loving him in the way that Christ loves us.

The same is true in my relationship with Christ.

God is constantly reminding me that I do not have control over my life or over Andrew's. I should not have control over them; therefore, I should stop grasping for control. Doing so only drives a wedge between Christ and me, and between Andrew and me.

Control, like any sin, limits me. It limits Andrew and my relationship with him. It limits Christ's blessings in our lives. It limits Christ's work in my life.

Things rarely work out the way I think they will these days. That is because God is God; I am not. Just when I think I have a plan, He shows me that He has a better one. Just when I think I have a handle on things, He reminds me that I do not.

As one week comes to a close, and a new one begins, this is my prayer:

Dear Jesus,
Reveal to me my patterns of selfishness: my controlling spirit; my perfectionism; my desire to appease others; my need for human approval. These things are not from you. Contrarily, they are keeping me from you. Empty me of my sinful desires. Cleanse me of my sinful nature.



This is one of Andrew's favorite songs! The bridge says: "Everything is a lesser thing compared to You." How true that is. Everything should pale in comparison to the light that is found in Christ our Savior. His presence should not just overshadow, but totally encompass, every area of our lives. He should be the absolute only thing on our priority list, because nothing else matters. Everything is a lesser thing in comparison to the greatness of our God!


"When we meet with God, the things that used to be important to us should become dim and meaningless in the presence of one so grand. His will for us should always supersede what we desire for ourselves." - Priscilla Shirer in her book And We Are Changed