1 Thessalonians 2:11,12
"...As a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worth of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
3 John 1:4
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."
At my internship, I work closely with families; lots of families. And they are all different, but they all have one thing in common: dysfunction. Most of this dysfunction has to do with series of bad choices. Yes, life has thrown these families curve balls, and they have been thrust into situations that they had not planned for; however, their dysfunction was not caused by one single event or occurance. Most of these families are just another generation in long cycles of dysfunction. Most families I see come from a history of dysfunction, and caregivers (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, whomever the caregivers [or, in most cases, caregiver,] may be) seem to be teaching their children just that... dysfunction. These children grow up seeing dysfunction all around them, and they learn from that. Children are never taught that there is a different way of living than what they see day in and day out. Children who live in the projects also go to school in the projects. They see the same people each day at school as they see when they are in their homes, on their streets, or in their neighborhoods. They do not see positive choices, or appropriate decision-making skills modeled in adults or peers around them.
Realizing this made me begin to think about how different I would be today had I been raised in a different environment, by different parents. Yes, children are resilient; they often have the ability to bounce back from horrible circumstances and events if they are given that chance, or if they somehow make that opportunity for themselves. Even so, I know that my life would be incredibly different had I not grown up with the wonderful family that God has given me. My parents have taught me so much. I shudder to think where I might had it not been for their presence, activity, and love in my life. They were the face of Christ to me; and they still are.
In my seminar class a few weeks ago, we were asked to go around the room and tell what we have learned from our families. Our class is three hours long, and even if I had been given the entire three hours to tell what I have learned from my family, that would not have been enough time to even capture a snapshot of what my family has taught me over the past twenty years. There is nothing of lasting importance that I have
not learned from my family.
From my mother...
I have learned honesty, no matter what the cost. I have learned the art of forgiveness. And of second chances. And of unconditional love. In loving so deeply, she has also been hurt just as deeply. She has been let down and disappointed, and in response to each let down and disappointment, she has overcome and loved harder. I have learned that what you look like on the inside is much more important than what you look like on the outside.
Colossians 3:13,14
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
1 Timothy 2:9,10
"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
1 John 4:16-21
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."
Proverbs 11:1
"The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight."
From my father...
Teachability... We are all works in progress. Humility. Self-discipline and self-denial. Reaching for your dreams, and working for them. Standing firm though others around you may not. Living life through loving and giving to others. My father is the most godly man I know, yet, somehow, he is always striving to be better: to be less self-focused, to love others more, to learn as much as he can about whatever he can, to be the best that he can be in all circumstances, and for the glory of God, as opposed to the glorification of himself.
Philippians 1:27; 2:2-4
"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ... I will know that you stand firm, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you... Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
1 Thessalonians 4:11
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you."
2 Timothy 1:7
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, or love, and of self-discipline."
Proverbs 3:9-12
"Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.
My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in."
Proverbs 17:27
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."
From my sister...
Hard work in the face of adveristy. She can never seem to settle on just one hobby or interest for very long; she tends to jump from thing to thing. But whatever her current "thing" is, she works harder at it than anyone else, and often for less of a return on her work than others.
Proverbs 6:6-8
"Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. "
Proverbs 10:4,5
"Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son."
Proverbs 13:4
"The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied."
I could never put into words all of the things my family has taught me. These are just the highlights; the first things that came to my mind when I was asked. I am now, and will forever be, grateful for my family, for what they have taught me, and for the God they introduced me to, and have exemplified each and every day of my life.
