Five Down... How Many to Go???

It has been five days since Andrew left, and crazy as it sounds, I feel like I am a completely different person than I was five days ago.  God has used the past week and a half to teach me SO MUCH. 

For as long as I can remember, my life has been perfect.  Even during times of personal or familial struggle, when my reality has been far from perfect, others' perceptions of my reality have been that it is perfect.  My dad is a dentist; therefore, we must have money to spare.  My family attends church, and we are all Christians; therefore, we must love each other perfectly and treat each other perfectly all the time.  We must not have issues or arguments or hardships.  That has been the perception. 

Because of that, and probably because of my natural tenancy toward introversion, any time I have had any sort of struggle, I have fought internally; my struggles have always been kept private.  And had it been up to me, I probably would not have shared with anyone that I found out Andrew was leaving.  In fact, I did not share that news with anyone outside my family.  Andrew did.  He had been planning a birthday party for me that was originally scheduled to take place this weekend.  When Andrew received his orders for active duty, he immediately sent out an email to all the friends he had invited to the party, explaining that it was canceled, and also explaining why.  Andrew then emailed the church softball team he plays on, and explained that he would not be at any of the season's remaining games, because he would be leaving immediately for active duty.

Since Andrew let so many people know what was going on, and word travels quickly, I have had SO many people reach out to offer their support. Never before have people acknowledged my struggle; never have they offered to share in that struggle with me. For one of the first times in my life, I am a member of a church body that truly loves and cares about me.  I did not even realize that until the past week.  And I certainly did not realize what was missing in going all those years without having that.

Not one day has gone by that I have not received a phone call, text, or email from a friend offering encouragement.  Had Andrew left for this training six months ago, I would not have been involved enough in the church to have a support system there.  In that sense, the timing of all of this is such a God thing.  God is teaching me that it is okay to need people.  And it is okay to be sad.  Not only is it okay to be sad, but it is okay to let people who love you know you are sad.  Had Andrew not told people what was going on, I probably would not have either; they never would have known a thing.  When they ask me how I am doing, I would probably say, "I am just fine.  What about you?"  But since he reached out to others, and entrusted them with what was going on in our lives, they have approached me and asked me, "How are you holding up?"  "Please let us know if there is anything we can do."  The people God has placed in my life have almost forced me to outwardly recognize and verbalize my experience, my heartache, and my struggle.... in a good way; in a therapeutic way; in a way that I have never before experienced. I have had more lunch and dinner invitations over the past week than I know what to do with (or that I could afford)!  And it feels SO GOOD to be cared about, and to know that you are cared about. 

Melody Beattie, who helped develop the 12-step recovery program curriculum, and has also written several books on recovery from codependency, said this: 

"God is there, always ready to help.  There is an ample supply of people to care about us too.  We will, if we want it, receive love and support, comfort and nurturing.  If we take the risk to ask for it, help is there... We aren't alone.  And we don't have to do it ourselves. We're not doing it ourselves.  There is no shortage on love..." 

She then goes on to pray this prayer: 

"Today, God, help me let go of my need to do it alone and my belief that I am alone.  Help me tape into Your Divine Power and Presence, and Your resources for love, support, and friendship.  Open my eyes and heart so I can see the love, help, and support that's there for me.  Help me know I am loved. " 

-Melody Beattie in The Language of Letting Go

Home Sweet Home

Although our new home does not feel quite like home without Andrew here, my goal is to be 100% situated here by the time Andrew gets back in September, personal touches and all. 

In an effort to do that, I added a little something special to our front door.  I hated driving by the house and it looking totally deserted, like no one lived here.  So this was a quick fix: 

My sister decoupaged this "A" for Andrew and I to use in our wedding.  After we got married, we used this, along with a matching "L" as a headboard for our bed.  Now it's a wreath!  What a versatile home accessory!   (: 

These would be super easy to make:  Buy the stockings, and the simply add the proper monogram! 

I think this would be perfect in a little girl's room!  What a great idea!

This is so creative... and beautiful! 

All the above images are from pinterest.

My parents have been a HUGE help over the past week.  And one of the many things my dad did to help me feel "at home" here is plant a rose bush!  

Can I OFFER you a dessert?

Andrew and I are part of a small group through our church (the groups are called OFFER groups).  The people in our group have become some of my dearest friends.  And I could not have made it through the past week without their love and encouragement.  We "officially" meet about twice a month.  We do a Bible study together, but we usually eat and fellowship as well.   We met tonight, and my task was to provide dessert.  This particular dessert got their seal of approval, so I thought I would share. 

I found the recipe for these chocolate chip cookie dough brownies a few days ago, thanks to recipegirl.  All it took was reading the title for me to know that these would climb the ranks to the top of my "favorite treats" lists.  And my hunch was right.  These were killer.  And they are definitely best chilled.  The only change I made to the original recipe is that I used jumbo chocolate chips rather than mini chocolate chips, simply because I had jumbo chocolate chips on hand. 

Bottom line: These were an easy, crowd pleasing dessert.  I just had to make sure NOT to bring any leftovers home.... that could have been dangerous! 

Precious

I just stumbled upon this, and it is too sweet not to share.


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Overwhelmed

Well, more has happened this week than I would ever have imagined could be packed into just one week...  I will start with this time last week:

This time last week, Andrew and I were packing our apartment.  Saturday of last week we began moving things from our apartment into our new house (which I LOVE more each time I step inside).  Sunday, some friends helped us move our larger items from our apartment into the new house.  Sunday evening, I started unpacking while Andrew napped.  And I can't say I blame him... he was pooped from all his heavy lifting earlier in the day!  I was up through all hours of the night Sunday, and into the wee hours of the morning on Monday.  After unpacking our kitchen, I had some baking to do for the Memorial Day cookout that was scheduled for the next day.

I did not want to go to said cookout, but Andrew insisted that Memorial Day was invented specifically for cookouts, and that it was un-American not to attend a cookout.  I went kicking and screaming, but I am so glad he convinced me to go.  Let me clarify, I love the people we were cooking and laying in the sun with; I just had LOTS of unpacking that was left undone.

So... when we returned home Monday night, I continued with the unpacking.  And the cleaning.  As adorable as our new house it, it is not technically new.  It is new to us, but in reality, it is still a twenty-something year old house.  And twenty-something year old houses have imperfections.  We had a handyman working in the house over the weekend who left quite the mess.  And I could not put the house together until it was clean.  Luckily, my mom and sister are a mere mile down the road now, so they were able to pop on over and help get the job done.

Let me stop there and say that I could not have made it through this past week without my family.  I thank God each day for their support, but I was extra thankful this week.

As you may recall, I am in graduate school right now.  Summer classes are only six weeks long, so my first class ends next week.  That means not only do we have a final exam next week, but we also have a final project due prior to taking the exam.  The project involves interviewing someone.

My particular "someone," who agreed to be interviewed backed out about one hour before we were scheduled to meet.  After a brief period of panic, my partner and I assessed our situation and developed a Plan B.  And if there is one thing I have learned this week, it is that life is filled with Plan B's.  I would even go so far as to say that my Plan A's almost never work out.  And in interviewing for my project, I realized that the same holds true for most others as well.  It is what we do when our Plan A's do not work out that defines our lives, and who we are as people.

On Tuesday, after panicking about the canceled interview, and developing a new plan (which actually turned out better than the original), I headed to Publix, where I purchased $65 in groceries for just under $30, thanks to coupons combined with Publix weekly sales, and all of the "buy one get one free" specials they were running.  I bought snacks for Andrew, as he complains regularly about he lack of junk food in our house.  I left the store with two different kinds of Doritos, two boxes of Ritz crackers, two jars of peanut butter, a box of cereal (that Publix was practically giving away), and much more.

Included in the "much more" category of my purchased groceries were items for my Sunday lunch menu.  Andrew and I had planned on having friends over to our new house after church, so I was going to make steak tacos.  It is a good thing that plan has changed, because our house is nowhere near ready to be seen by outsiders yet!!!

Why has the plan changed?  Well, I received a phone call Wednesday morning, just before 8am, that changed my plans for the week, and for the entire summer.  Andrew called to met me know that he received a call from Army personnel, and he needs to be in South Carolina this Saturday, and will be there until September.

Obviously, lunch of Sunday moved way down on the priority list.

And our cruise went out the window.

Well, I am still going, but Andrew will apparently not be joining the rest of the family.

Yesterday and today have been filled with getting ridiculous amounts of paperwork together that Andrew will need while he is gone, getting his Army clothing and equipment together (Thank goodness we just moved, and had to find it, or we would have had no clue where all that stuff was.  He has not used it in a year.)  And changing or canceling so many of the summer arrangements that had already been made.

Now that I have a few minutes to breathe, the situation is starting to hit me.

And I am downright sad. 

But it could be worse.

He could be going overseas.  Or he could be going away for longer than three months.

Or even worse...

As my mother would say,

"He is laying dead in a ditch now is he?"
 
So, see?

In the midst of small crises, and Plan B's, we still have so much to be thankful for!  God is still God. 

And even if Andrew were laying dead in a ditch somewhere, God would still be God!

Happy Friday!

Well, this week has been one of the craziest of my life so far.  The whole things is almost a haze now; so much happend in so little time.  I will fill you in later, but for now, let's forget about the happenings of the week and celebrate...

DONUT day!!!!

Dunkin Donuts is giving away a free donut with the purchase of any beverage as a way of saying, "Happy Donut Day." 

And visit CakeSpy for a list of delectible donut treats.  I am trying this easy, yummy looking recipe sometime in the very near future.  If life ever calms down. But as I said, we will talk about that later. 

For now....

Happy Donut Day!