Two, four, six, eight...

"I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

The past few weeks, my job has left me feeling incredibly drained.  There is a particular situation that has been going on with a client that has totally affected my life at work, and even when I am physically away from work.  I have woken up in the middle of the night thinking about this situation, what the solution may be, what I should have done or should be doing differently, etc.  Even when my body is not at work, that is where my mind has been.

And today I read this:

When I feel responsible FOR others...
I fix.
Protect.
Rescue.
Control.
Carry their feelings.
Don't listen.

I feel...
Tired.
Anxious.
Fearful.
Liable.

I am concerned with:
The solution.
Answers.
Circumstances.
Being right.
Details.
Performance.

I am a manipulator.
I expect the person to live up to my expectations.


When I feel responsible TO others...
I show empathy.
Encourage.
Share.
Confront.
Level.
Am sensitive.
Listen.

I feel...
Relaxed.
Free.
Aware.
High self-esteem.


I am concerned with:
Relating person to person.
Feelings.
The person.


I believe if I just share myself, the other person has enough to make it.
I am a helper-guide.
I expect the person to be responsible for himself and his own actions.
I can trust and let go.


I have read similar things before, and these are things I know, but today they really resonated.  I have crossed certain boundary lines with this particular client that I told myself I would not cross.  I learned a lesson.  And I am now reminded that I am not responsible FOR my client.  I am TO be the best social worker, encourager, and guide, that I can be.  But I am not to make decisions FOR, or do things FOR my client, and I should not feel responsible FOR the things this client chooses to do or not to do.  And it certainly should not rob me of my personal time, time with my husband, and sleeping time!  If I feel responsible FOR a client, it seeps into my personal life and negatively impacts those around me.  I have learned my lesson and will not let this happen again.  I will not let a client have such power over my mind and emotions, and I will not attempt to have that kind of power or control over a client... even in the name of "helping" him.

"We are all something, but none of us are everything." - Blaise Pascal