Since I have taken somewhat of a hiatus from blogging in recent days, in light of recent events and the recent madness that life entails, you may be unaware that, during our time in college, Andrew has worked as part of Trevecca's top-notch security team. Boy, do I feel safe just saying that.
As part of this quality team of campus security guards, Andrew has, not only an incredibly attractive outfit (or uniform; depending on your word preference... I prefer "outfit"), but he also has the power to write traffic and parking tickets when necessary (and when not technically necessary, which is extra annoying). Needless to stay, students all across Trevecca just love him. I mean, who doesn't enjoy walking out to their car after a long day of classes, and seeing an awesomely dressed security guard plopping a big, fat parking ticket on their windshield for almost no reason other than that he can? Seriously.
Well, in my ignorance, I thought that the job responsibilities and privileges of security guards stopped there: tickets. But NO. Apparently, they also confiscate bicycles for their own personal gain.
That was the first thing I needed to fill you in on.
The second is this:
Since Andrew and I are getting married on August 7th, since we will be living in a VERY small apartment, and since we have VERY, VERY little money, we are having a yard sale this summer. All monies gained from said yard sale will go toward Andrew and Logan's mattress and bed frame fund.
Not only have Andrew and I been collecting things of our own to sell, but we have been collecting things that our parents no longer need or want. Obviously, we want to sell as much as we can, so that we can make as much money as we can (and yes, I feel slightly selfish admitting that, but it is true).
I thought we were limiting ourselves to selling our own items, and items belonging relatives; however, Andrew has recently begun pilfering various household and recreational items from his friends, roommates, and peers, so that we can sell them at our yard sale as well. For example, he recently designated his roommates microwave to the "yard sale things" pile.
He then proceeded to take this idea a step further.
He stole a bike.
Yes. He stole a bike.
No. I am not kidding. I only wish I were.
I am happy to say that I was not present to witness the crime, so I am a bit fuzzy on some of the details. Apparently, a Trevecca student left his bicycle unmanned for an extended period of time. (The actual amount of time is unknown, due to Andrew's refusal to give me a serious answer to this question. Each time I ask how long the bicycle was left unattended, Andrew gives me a different answer: one hour, one week, all semester, four years, it has been there since the beginning of creation, etc.). Finally, Andrew decided that he would confiscate the bike, and if Trevecca student cared enough, or felt so inclined, he would call the security office and inquire after the whereabouts of his beloved bike.
Not exactly what I would think to do if my bicycle were suddenly stolen.
They say desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guess it is true.
The prospect of poverty and joblessness has driven the love of my life to turn to acts of crime.
Not worth it I tell you.
Not worth it.
And, Trevecca student, whoever you are, wherever you are, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I hope your bike was not your primary, or worse, your only, means of transportation.
Thank you for contributing to our new mattress. I will think of you come August 7th, when I am not sleeping on the floor.
This picture, from here, is a much more picturesque version of the actual stolen bike (which I have yet to see, but a bike is a bike, so the two must resemble each other at least remotely).
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