Something happened today that made me feel like I am terrible at my job; like I am horribly inadequate, and like I let someone down tremendously. Do you ever have those days?
I had a home visit with a client just a week ago. She seemed okay: talked a little about struggling financially, mentioned a hearing with Section 8 in regards to her monthly rent, and vented some about her issues with the landlord (whom she basically hates). I noticed a few red flags, and asked her what resources she had tried in order to get some financial help. Other than that, I did not offer much help or advice. I knew that our program could not help her financially, because we are only able to help clients monetarily one time each year. We helped her with a water bill in November.
I got a phone call today from this same client saying that she received a 24- hour cut- off notice today from the water company. She said she tried every community resource that she could think of. I named other places to her; she had already tried those too. She even tried churches near her neighborhood. Most had the funds, but were unwilling to help (that is a different story altogether... Don't even get me started).
How did I miss this last week? Why did I not see it coming? Why did we not discuss her immediate financial needs in greater detail? I could tell that she wanted to, and I purposefully avoided it, knowing that I would not be able to help her as immediately and directly as she would have liked. I should have stayed with her and watched her make phone calls to any and all organizations that offer, or would even for a brief moment consider offering, emergency financial assistance. I should have discussed any and all options with her. I should have encouraged some kind of positive change in her. Instead, I side-stepped around the issue as much has I possibly could.
To top it all off, all this lady needs to keep her water on for a few more weeks is to make a deposit of $75 to the water company. That's it! That $75 will only keep her water on through the end of the month, and then she has to make the rest of the payment. $75. I could write a check to her for $75 and not miss that money for a second (Technically, I could not do that, because that would be seriously crossing some boundaries...) That breaks my heart.
So how do I feel today? Defeated, overwhelmed, slightly angry at myself.
Icing on the cake: Last night I finished about a ten page long assignment. Tonight, I went to my computer to print this assignment and realized that only the first half of it is saved onto my computer; apparently, I forgot to save the second half of my work. This paper is due first thing tomorrow morning.
Here is the cherry on top: This paper is actually a process recording. I taped an interview with a client, and typed out, verbatim, the entire interview. Every cough, every laugh, every paper shuffle, every pause, etc. After I typed this, for the sake of confidentiality, I erased the interview from my voice recorder; therefore, I have no way of knowing exactly what was said during the second half of the interview.
What a great night.
After all of that griping, here is a truly wonderful thing that happened today (it at least has the potential of being a wonderful thing): I had a job interview with an agency that I completed a practicum with about a year ago. I loved my experience there, and when I saw that they were hiring, I jumped on it. The position is only part time, but that would be perfect if I decide to go to graduate school in the Fall. The hours would work perfectly, I would be working with lovely people, and I would be doing what I love to do. The girl who interviewed me also said that the agency is really good about working with students. If I get the job, I will have the option of also doing my field placement there for grad school. I could intern in a different department than the one I work in, and the part-time position would work around my intern position. The job title is "In-Home Specialist." I would be spending time with elderly clients, taking them grocery shopping, going grocery shopping for them, cooking, cleaning, etc. It sounds like something I would really enjoy, and it would be great job experience! Plus, I love that agency, all that they stand for, and the attitudes of their employees.
I now feel slightly convicted for spending this entire post venting about my bad day. It was really not that bad at all! I had a great morning, and a great afternoon too! Plus, the weather was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS today. I am so blessed... beyond what I deserve, and beyond what I could ever earn.
"Praise be to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-6
Here are some things that made me happy...
There is more where that came from here.
Just hop on over here for more cute dog photos.
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