Empty Me

When I accepted Andrew's marriage proposal two months ago, I had no idea that such a short period of engagement would be such a long process of pruning.

Attempting to maintain and sustain control over my own plans, time, habits, finances, hobbies, etc. is one thing. Attempting to do the same for a second person, and attempting to consolidate and coordinate a second person's plans, time, habits, finances, hobbies, etc. with me own is a totally different story.

Both attempts are impossible. But the second produces much more blatant results (which may also be appropriately referred to as consequences). Attempting to control another person, in any way, is not loving that person; it is in direction contradiction to loving them. Love does not control. Loving someone gives that someone freedom; it empowers them to be and do more than they ever could have been or done without that love.

Trying to control a person limits that person. It ties him to the things the controller will "allow" him to do. It binds him to standards, or impossible ideals, that the controller has created. It demeans him, and makes him feel small. It tears down his dreams, and hinders him from being all that God has created him to be.

Controlling love is selfish love. And selfish love is not love at all.

In short, when my controlling spirit is exerted onto Andrew, I am missing out on the blessing of what my relationship with Andrew could be. I am not cultivating a Christ-like relationship with him, because I am not loving him in the way that Christ loves us.

The same is true in my relationship with Christ.

God is constantly reminding me that I do not have control over my life or over Andrew's. I should not have control over them; therefore, I should stop grasping for control. Doing so only drives a wedge between Christ and me, and between Andrew and me.

Control, like any sin, limits me. It limits Andrew and my relationship with him. It limits Christ's blessings in our lives. It limits Christ's work in my life.

Things rarely work out the way I think they will these days. That is because God is God; I am not. Just when I think I have a plan, He shows me that He has a better one. Just when I think I have a handle on things, He reminds me that I do not.

As one week comes to a close, and a new one begins, this is my prayer:

Dear Jesus,
Reveal to me my patterns of selfishness: my controlling spirit; my perfectionism; my desire to appease others; my need for human approval. These things are not from you. Contrarily, they are keeping me from you. Empty me of my sinful desires. Cleanse me of my sinful nature.



This is one of Andrew's favorite songs! The bridge says: "Everything is a lesser thing compared to You." How true that is. Everything should pale in comparison to the light that is found in Christ our Savior. His presence should not just overshadow, but totally encompass, every area of our lives. He should be the absolute only thing on our priority list, because nothing else matters. Everything is a lesser thing in comparison to the greatness of our God!


"When we meet with God, the things that used to be important to us should become dim and meaningless in the presence of one so grand. His will for us should always supersede what we desire for ourselves." - Priscilla Shirer in her book And We Are Changed